THE MEDIEVAL AND RENAISSANCE THEME WEDDING FAQ

This is a list of Frequently Asked Questions about the planning of medieval and Renaissance theme weddings. Questions (and answers) in this FAQ were originally obtained from readers of the following newsgroups: alt.fairs.renaissance, alt.wedding, rec.food.historic, rec.org.sca, and soc.couples.wedding.

The information in this FAQ was compiled and edited by Barbara J. Kuehl and is, by no means, a final product. All comments and corrections should be emailed to bj@csd.uwm.edu.

c) The Medieval and Renaissance Theme Wedding FAQ is copyrighted by the owner of the FAQ. This document may be freely redistributed without modification provided that the copyright notice is not removed. It may not be sold for profit or incorporated in commercial documents without the written permission of the holder.

The Medieval & Renaissance Theme Wedding FAQ is not meant to be a scholarly treatise on marriage and feasting customs throughout the medieval and renaissance periods. Rather, it is a compilation of suggestions from persons who have attempted to recreate the ambience of such an event using resources available to them today. In some cases, the items and/or foods used may not be historically accurate. The compiler of this FAQ leaves it up to the user to determine the degree of historical authenticity appropriate for his or her own theme wedding.

The Medieval & Renaissance Theme Wedding FAQ is posted on the 15th of each month to ONE of six newsgroups on a rotating basis. These six newsgroups are the five mentioned above plus soc.history.medieval. An announcement of the posting will be sent to each newsgroup which is not serving as the FAQ site during that given month. This announcement will guide interested persons to the newsgroup from which they may obtain the FAQ. This FAQ will also be posted on the 1st of each month to news.answers, a newsgroup with the expressed purpose of posting and archiving FAQ lists.

The Medieval & Renaissance Theme Wedding FAQ is also housed and/or linked at the following locations:

Acknowledgements: Many people helped with this FAQ by contributing their ideas and stories. All verbatim contributions are prefaced whenever possible by the email address of the original writer. Others have contributed by sharing their research or by reviewing versions of the FAQ. These people include:

Topics covered:



Section 1: Questions regarding Ceremonies, Traditions, and Handfasting
1.1: We would like to be married in a medieval-style wedding and want to make it as real as possible, but we don't even know where to start. What were weddings like during the Middle Ages?
1.2: Weddings are filled with 'traditions' such as the tossing of the bouquet, the garter toss, the bride wearing white dress and veil, the lighting of the unity candle, the exchange of wedding rings, etc. Just how far back do these 'traditions' really go? Do any of them stem from medieval or renaissance times?
1.3: Do the garter and bouquet tosses really date back to medieval times?
1.4: What is the story behind the wedding rhyme:
"Something old, something new,
Something borrowed, something blue,
And a lucky sixpence for your shoe."
1.5: I'm not pagan but my boyfriend is, and he asked me if I'd like to take part in a Handfasting with him. I know the basics of it ...366 days of a trial marriage sort of thing and, at the end of the 366 days, there is a choice of continuing the relationship or ending it. Is handfasting legally binding? What exactly is done and in what order?
1.6: I'm getting married next September, and we plan to have a handfasting. I'm trying to gather ideas for the ceremony, decorations, etc. and would love to hear from anyone who has planned or attended a handfasting.
1.7: My best friend is planning a medieval peasant's wedding and I am in charge of locating appropriate wedding vows. Are there any websites that have samples of medieval vows or could someone please recommend some books?
1.8: Bibliography of Medieval & Renaissance Marriage Practices compiled by Kirsti Thomas
Section 2: Questions regarding Invitations and Announcements
2.1: We're using a medieval theme for our wedding. How can we adapt that look for our invitations?
2.2: Anybody have any creative ideas for wording an invitation in keeping with the medieval style of the wedding?
2.3: I'm thinking of rolling up my invitation (but how would you mail that cheaply!). Any suggestions??!!
2.4: We bought metallic gold wax and two stamps to seal our invitations but can't for the life of us figure out how to use them! Any hints/suggestions out there would be greatly appreciated!
2.5: My fiance and I will be making our own invitations and would like to use a wax seal on the outside of the envelope. I was wondering if anyone ran into problems with the post office, like wax getting stuck in postal machines or anything like that?
2.6: How about thank you cards? Any ideas for how we can make our thank you cards look medieval in style?
Section 3: Questions regarding Attire
3.1: Those who were married in a medieval-style ceremony, what did your wedding party and guests wear?
3.2: Any ideas on how I can encourage my guests to dress in period clothing, too?
3.3: HELP! My fiance wants a medieval-style wedding but I don't know the first thing about that time period, much less about the clothes they wore.
3.4: My wife is desperately in need of a source of patterns for medieval/Renaissance wedding clothing for the bride, groom, and all of the wedding party. Where can we get such patterns?
3.5: I can't sew on a button. Where can I buy medieval clothing?
3.6: Does anybody know of a catalog which offers readymade but affordable period clothes? I can't possibly sew for everyone!
3.7: Does anyone know of good Web sites regarding medieval clothing?
3.8: My fiance has informed me that he hates tuxes and would prefer to get married in a robe rather like the ones worn by Sir Thomas More in A Man for All Seasons. Anyone have a clue where I would find such a beast?
3.9: Does anyone know where I could get a velvet cape? I am thinking about an evening wedding and an off the shoulder gown, and I get cold easily (Plus I just love them!!).
Section 4: Questions regarding Flowers, Bouquets and Headpieces
4.1: What flowers can I use in my bouquet to go along with the medieval theme of my clothing?
4.2: Does anyone know (or can anyone point me to a resource for) the meanings of different flowers in a bouquet?
4.3: I've found a wonderful company to make our "costumes", but I'm not sure what to wear for a "veil". I know veils are traditional nowadays, but our medieval wedding is anything but. Could I wear flowers in my hair instead of a veil?
4.4: I would like to use a garland of ivy as a headpiece, as it is symbolic of good luck and all. I have an ivy plant, and I wonder if just cutting off a long extension of the plant and forming it into a circle would work. Any advice?
4.5: Help! I am allergic to flowers and I cannot figure out how to replace them in my wedding. I am having a medieval theme. Are there any suggestions?
Section 5: Questions regarding the Reception
5.1: Can you give me some ideas of where we might hold our medieval wedding reception?
5.2: Is it possible to have a wedding at a renaissance faire?
5.3: I've been asked to decorate the reception hall for a friend of mine having a medieval style wedding. Does anyone know of any herbs/plants/assorted greenery that would be appropriate? I would appreciate any ideas as to how to decorate this hall.
5.4: Can you recommend any activities, besides dancing, for our reception?
5.5 If you have an interesting idea for favors for my medieval wedding reception, please tell me!
Section 6: Questions regarding the Feast
6.1: What kinds of foods did people serve at wedding feasts during the Middle Ages?
6.2: Sallat (salad), tarts, potage (soup), custard, poultry, suckling pig and spicy mulled wine sound great! But pigeon pies, eels, boar's head, and roast peacock with the feathers put back on! I don't think my guests would go for this, so let me rephrase that question. What kinds of foods could I serve that would have the "feel" of a medieval banquet but would still be edible by my modernday guests?
6.3: Does anyone have any information about the menu at places like Medieval Times (where the knights fight while you have dinner)? I know they do wedding receptions.
6.4: How about drinks? What kinds of beverages did people drink during the Middle Ages?
6.5: It's expected in our family to have a wedding cake. Any ideas of how we could incorporate a wedding cake into the menu and still keep the medieval ambience?
6.6: We have our menu all worked out but need some ideas about how to decorate the banquet hall and serve the food and drink in keeping with the medieval theme. Any suggestions?
6.7: Can you recommend any books or websites where I can get recipes for some of the medieval dishes (and maybe others) mentioned above?
6.8: Bibliography of Medieval Cookbooks compiled by Jaelle of Armida
Section 7: Questions regarding Music
7.1: My fiance and I love period music. Any ideas for how we could do the music for our medieval/renaissance wedding? Also, what kinds of instruments are considered period?
7.2: Where can I find musicians who play medieval music?
7.3: I am looking for good quality CDs for my Wedding. I need suggestions for both Dancing and Ceremony music. It need not be for any specific period - but would like it to have a medieval flavor. All suggestion are great appreciated.
Section 8: A list of Movies with a Medieval or Renaissance Theme
8.1: How about including a list of well-costumed, atmospheric movies that people could rent to see what a particular period might be like? If a picture is worth a thousand words, a moving picture is worth ten thousand!
Section 9: A list of Catalogs and Websites
Section 10: Bibliography of Medieval and Renaissance Cookbooks
Section 11: Bibliography of Historical Figures

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Section 1: Questions regarding Ceremonies, Traditions, and Handfasting


1.1: We would like to be married in a medieval-style wedding and want to make it as real as possible, but we don't even know where to start. What were weddings like during the Middle Ages?

  • From: Susan Carroll-Clark (sclark@epas.utoronto.ca)
    So long as the couple made the vows before a witness, the marriage was valid--no priest had to be present (although this is increasingly not the case after the 13th century).
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  • From: Kirsti Thomas (kst@paul.spu.edu)
    Weddings during the Middle Ages were considered family/community affairs. The only thing needed to create a marriage was for both partners to state their consent to take one another as spouses. Witnesses were not always necessary, nor was the presence of the clergy. In Italy, for example, the marriage was divided into three parts. The first portion consisted of the families of the groom and bride drawing up the papers. The bride didn't have to even be there for that. The second, the betrothal, was legally binding and may or may not have involved consummation. At this celebration, the couple exchanged gifts (a ring, a piece of fruit, etc.), clasped hands and exchanged a kiss. The "vows" could be a simple as, "Will you marry me?" "I will." The third part of the wedding, which could occur several years after the betrothal, was the removal of the bride to the groom's home. The role of the clergy at a medieval wedding was simply to bless the couple. It wasn't official church policy until the council of Trent in the 15th century that a third party [c.f. a priest], as opposed to the couple themselves, was responsible for performing the wedding. In the later medieval period, the wedding ceremony moved from the house of the bride to the church. It began with a procession to the church from the bride's house. Vows were exchanged outside the church (BTW, the priest gave the bride to the groom...I don't think she was presented by her father) and then everyone moved inside for Mass. After Mass, the procession went back to the bride's house for a feast. Musicians accompanied the procession.
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  • From: Susan Carroll-Clark (sclark@epas.utoronto.ca)
    A word on historical English weddings. Traditionally, in front of the church door, the groom would, in front of witnesses, announce his bride's dower--that portion (usually 1/3) of his holdings she would be allowed to use should he die before she did (she could also inherit land and property, but this was a different thing). They would then go in for the solemnization of vows (very short) and the nuptial mass.
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  • From kate@ind.tansu.com.au
    I remember reading Chaucer [d.1400] in High School (the Wife of Bath's Tale). Part of the text (and this is the Wife speaking) says "husbands at church door I have had five". Due to the need to ensure that everyone knew beyond a doubt that the couple were married, weddings would take place outside the church (at the door) rather than inside where only a few people could view it.
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  • From: fishcat@hooked.net (Trystan L. Bass)
    For much of Western history, marriage was an exchange of property, i.e. the woman was being given by her father to her husband. The union of property & money & lineage were what was being celebrated --- not so much the union of two lovers. Hence, "real" medieval & Renaissance wedding ceremonies were simple legal unions, sanctioned by the Church, and done with as many important people as possible to witness it. "Real" ceremonies of the time were not terribly intricate in Western Europe & the UK, so I think it would be much more interesting, charming, and enjoyable to make up your own medieval-ish or Renaissance-esque wedding ceremony.

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1.2: Weddings are filled with 'traditions' such as the tossing of the bouquet, the garter toss, the bride wearing white dress and veil, the lighting of the unity candle, the exchange of wedding rings, etc. Just how far back do these 'traditions' really go? Do any of them stem from medieval or renaissance times?

  • From: becky@sunfish.cc.usm.edu ()
    I was looking through the August/September issue of Modern Bride, and they had a little sidebar called Wedding Customs. "Many of today's wedding customs have evolved from the days of ancient Rome, when evil spirits were believed to lurk about and pose threats to the bride and groom...Bridesmaids dressed similarly to the bride, and ushers' attire resembled the groom's. This was an attempt to confuse the spirits...If [they] could not tell the bride and groom apart from the attendants, they would not be able to carry out their plans. The wedding ring: The early Eqyptians...believed that a circle was the symbol of eternity--a sign that life, happiness, and love have no beginning and no end. A wedding ring was placed on the third finger of the left hand because it was believed that a vein ran directly from that finger to the heart. The wedding cake: Intended as a symbol of fertility...To ensure a life of plenty, the Romans broke a thin layer of cake over the bride's head at the end of the ceremony. Crumbs were then gathered by guests as good luck tokens."
    -------------------------
  • From Barbara Kuehl (bj@csd.uwm.edu)
    This is from http://www.halcyon.com/mganson/traditions.html:
    The expression "tie the knot" comes from Roman times when the bride wore a girdle that was tied in knots which the groom had the fun of untying. Diamond engagement rings were given by medieval Italians, because of their belief that the diamond was created from the flames of love. Ancient Spartan soldiers were the first to hold stag parties. The groom would feast with his male friends on the night before the wedding. There he would say goodbye to the carefree days of bachelorhood and swear continued allegiance to his comrades. Bridal showers were also meant to strengthen the friendships between the bride and her friends, give her moral support, and help her prepare for her marriage. The idea to give gifts is fairly new, dating from the 1890's. At one shower, the bride's friend placed small gifts inside a japanese parasol, and then opened it over the bride's head so all of the presents would "shower" over her. When word of this hit the fashion pages, people were so charmed, they decided to do the same at their showers. The bridal party has many origins, one of which comes from the Anglo Saxon days. When the groom was about to capture his bride, he needed the help of his friends, the "bridesmen" or "brideknights". They would make sure the bride got to the church and to the groom's house afterwards. The bride also had women to help her, the "bridesmaids" or "brideswomen". The white wedding dress was made popular by Anne of Brittany in 1499. Before that, a woman just wore her best dress. In biblical days, blue (not white) represented purity, and the bride and groom would wear a blue band around the bottom of their wedding attire, hence something blue. It is unknown when wedding rings were first worn. They were probably made of a strong metal, like iron so that it wouldn't break easily which would have been a very bad omen. The ancient Romans believed that the vein in the third finger ran directly to the heart, so wearing the ring on that finger joined the couples hearts and destiny. Weddings just wouldn't be complete without fertility symbols, like the wedding cake. Ancient Romans would bake a cake made of wheat or barley and break it over the bride's head as a symbol of her fertility. It became tradition to pile up several small cakes, one on top of the other, as high as they could, and the bride and groom would kiss over the tower and try not to knock it down. If they were successful, it meant a lifetime of prosperity. During the reign of King Charles II of England, it became customary to turn this cake into an enjoyably edible palace, iced with white sugar. Tying shoes to the bumper of the car represents the symbolism and power of shoes in ancient times. Egyptians would exchange sandals when they exchanged goods, so when the father of the bride gave his daughter to the groom, he would also give the brides sandals to show that she now belonged to the groom. In Anglo Saxon times, the groom would tap the heel of the bride's shoe to show his authority over her. In later times, people would throw shoes at the couple, and now we just tie shoes to their car. (This information is from the book "A Natural History of Love," by Diane Ackerman)

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1.3: Do the garter and bouquet tosses really date back to medieval times?

  • From: jmh@anser.pdial.interpath.net (Jeanne Hinds)
    THe garter toss is one of the oldest surviving wedding traditions. Back in medieval times, it was customary for friends, relatives, guests to accompany the bridal couple to the marriage bed. As time went on, this became rowdier and rowdier to the point that some guests were all too eager to help the bride out of her wedding clothes. To forestall such impropriety, the garters were quickly removed and thrown to the mob as a distraction. As time went on, it has evolved into the tradition we now know.
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  • From: saturn@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu (Shawna Rosen)
    The wedding guests would follow the couple back to their room, and try to grab the bride's garter for good luck. Brides starting tossing their garter to the crowd as a means of self preservation! As society changed it became inappropriate to throw part of your underwear, and the bouquet was substituted. Sometime this century, the garter toss was added back in as a means of equalizing the tradition. Women could catch the bouquet and men could catch the garter. Why the groom can't throw part of his own costume is beyond me.
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  • From: Mary Jane Nather (natherm@ucs.orst.edu)
    The sources I read indicated that in the past anything of a bride's was lucky--gloves, flowers, garters, etc. It was said that a man who gave his love the garter of a bride would be guaranteed faithfulness. The guests were so eager to get the garter, often the bride would be accosted at the altar by men who stole it from her. Smart brides began having men compete for the garter--usually a foot or horse race. Also, many would give out small colored ribbons called "favours" to guests as an attempt to avoid being turned upside down by men eager for their garter. I've also read that the guests would sit at the end of the bed with their backs to the bride and groom. Men would throw the bride's stocking over their shoulder and try to hit her nose, while women would do the same for the groom. Those with good aim were the next to be married. Sound like a fun wedding night?
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  • From: fkindle@aol.com (FKindle) (Fred)
    I have been photographing some weddings recently where the bride & groom both toss the bouquet & garter at the same time.... It works out great! It's faster, the catch is better when it's a surprise to the guys & ladies of who the other person is that caught it...This works best when you stand back to back and each throw at the same time. I only hope that you're either both righty or lefty to avoid a collision... TRY IT.

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1.4: What is the story behind the wedding rhyme:
"Something old, something new,
Something borrowed, something blue,
And a lucky sixpence for your shoe."


  • From: IVANOR@delphi.com (Carolyn Boselli)
    According to my Bartlett's, it's from the late 19th century, authorship unknown.
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  • From: "'Riff' Beth Marie Mc Curdy" (ook@u.washington.edu)
    The following is from Oxford's -A Dictionary of Superstitions- (p.42-43): "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" was quoted in a 1883 newspaper and ascribed to "some Lancashire friends." Something old tradition- no pre-20th century citations. The editors point out a possible link to the belief that "something old" will protect a baby, first cited at 1659. No citations for "something new." Something borrowed- same 1883 paper (one issue earlier) "it is widely accounted 'lucky' to wear something...which has already been worn by a happy bride at her wedding." Something blue- Wearing blue to express faithfulness traced back as far as a 1390 citation from Chaucer's "Squire's Tale." -Sixpence- appears twice, as "silver sixpence" and "lucky sixpence" (the third line scans with a more staccato rhythym than the first two.). There's 1774 record of a Scottish groom using a sixpence in his shoe to ward off evil from his rival, and an 1814 (Scottish again) citation that the bride "wear a piece of silver in one of her shoes" to ward evil from disappointed suitors. There are also 20th century citations to the bride's walking on a gold coin to produce prosperity. For your curiousity, pre-1650 wedding superstitions included: 1549 the lifting over the threshhold; 1601 sun seen shining on the bride = good fortune; 1648 garters passed on to groomsmen and bridesmaids; 1604 bride's left stocking thrown (as modern bouquet); 1615 premature marriage producing premature death; 1592 unmarried elder sisters dancing barefoot at wedding party; 1634 one wedding brings another; stepping between couple unlucky (or even caused by the devil).

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1.5: I'm not pagan but my boyfriend is, and he asked me if I'd like to take part in a Handfasting with him. I know the basics of it ...366 days of a trial marriage sort of thing and, at the end of the 366 days, there is a choice of continuing the relationship or ending it. Is handfasting legally binding? What exactly is done and in what order?

  • From: "'Jherek' W. Swanger" (jswanger@u.washington.edu)
    Handfasting refers to the old practice of trial marriages for a year and a day, supposedly prevalent in Scotland, Wales and Ireland. I've never actually run across other references to this other than Sir Walter Scott (19th cent.).
    -------------------------
  • From: raven@solaria.sol.net (Raven (J. Singleton))
    "When we are handfasted, as we term it, we are man and wife for a year and a day; that space gone by, each may choose another mate, or, at their pleasure, may call the priest to marry them for life; and this we call handfasting."
    -- Sir Walter Scott, _The Monastery_ (1820), ch. 25.
    -------------------------
  • From: chaos@whip.ugcs.caltech.edu (Tien-Yee Chiu)
    The old way in Great Britain for couples to pledge their betrothal was for them to join hands, his right to her right, his left to her left, so from above they looked like an infinity symbol. Done in front of witnesses, this made them officially "married" for a year and a day, following which they could renew permanently or for another year and a day. This was called "handfasting" and was used extensively in the rural areas where priests and ministers didn't go all that often. Sharing a cup and pledging their betrothal in front of witnesses used to accomplish the same thing (usually done in taverns) but was eventually outlawed in most of Europe. In fact, the reference I got that from mentioned only Switzerland because they were one of the last to stop recognizing it as a legal marriage.
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  • From: raven@solaria.sol.net (Raven (J. Singleton))
    "This custom of handfasting actually prevailed in the upland days. It arose partly from the want of priests. While the convents subsisted, monks were detached on regular circuits through the wilder districts, to marry those who had lived in this species of connexion."
    -- Andrew Lang, note in his edition of _The Monastery_
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  • From: Kirsti Thomas (kst@paul.spu.edu)
    This type of marriage survived in Scottish law until the 20th century.
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  • From: raven@solaria.sol.net (Raven (J. Singleton))
    Handfasting remained legal in Scotland until 1939. Common-law marriage in general is still legally recognized in several of the United States: AL, CO, GA, IA, ID, KS, OH, OK, PA, RI, SC, TX, UT, and even in DC (This list as of 1987, from the current World Almanac & Book of Facts). Generally, this just takes both of you saying that you ARE man and wife, and conducting yourselves accordingly. No particular ceremony needed. This allows a man and woman in a deserted place with no-one else around to marry -- and later have it be found legitimate, legal and binding.(However, I am *NOT* a lawyer. Look up the rules for your *OWN* state.)
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  • From: mylitta73@aol.com (Mylitta73)
    According to common law of Scotland...a handfasting is a ritual commonly used hundreds of years ago as a trial marriage. The time limit of a year and a day was considered, though not required. As such, if you are handfasted, you would be married under those laws. However, based on the laws here in the states you would still be considered just engaged. So, if you decide to go through the handfasting...it would be a chance for the two of you to make your vows without all the hassles of the state's approval. One quick note....in the past, if a baby was born because of the union, the two would be immediately married by a priest. If one of you, either the husband or the wife, decided against such an arrangement, then the person who leaves the marriage loses all rights to the child.
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  • From: ravendncr@aol.com (RAVENDNCR)
    Handfasting is not a "legal" binding agreement between two people unless that is what the couple wishes. As a nonlegal binding agreement the period of "commitment" is one year and a day, after which the vows can either be renewed, the couple become LEGALLY married, or go separate ways.
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  • From: reive@mutant.clark.net (reive)
    Handfasting is a MODERN pagan tradition that is, in part, derived from traditional medieval/renaissance wedding practices.
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  • From: cm369@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (D. Sabrina Baskey)
    Handfasting nowadays is a neopagan wedding ceremony, the equivalent of a Judeo-Christian marriage ceremony, uniting two people in love. The essential elements are thanking the gods/Goddess for bringing this love into their lives; feeding each other and giving each other a drink (to show their commitment to caring for the other); and jumping over a broom. The cutting of the wedding cake usually includes feeding each other a small portion, and you can make a toast to each other and drink out of the other's cup. The only element that would seem out of place in a Christian wedding is the broom. Depending on the tolerance of your guests and your desire to include this, you could do it as part of your reception, with some little explanation. Or you could do what I plan to do, which is place a broom at the end of the "aisle", so that we can jump it at the end of the recessional. We plan to get married in a garden, so I don't have to worry about who might disapprove of me placing a broom in it, but this probably wouldn't work too well at a church wedding.
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  • From: ladyjane@cyberverse.com (Lanfear)
    We tied in several period wedding customs as part of our ceremony. One is to kiss three times while saying "I love thee" after each kiss, and another is for the couple to jump over a crossed broom and sword (held by the best man and the maid of honor). The symbolizes the cutting of ties to their parents and the ties being swept away.
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  • From: knk@leba.net (Mystic)
    I am sorry to point this out to you but Jumping over a broom originated in the days of slavery. Paganism was around a whole lot longer than that!

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1.6: I'm getting married next September, and we plan to have a handfasting. I'm trying to gather ideas for the ceremony, decorations, etc. and would love to hear from anyone who has planned or attended a handfasting.

  • From: Cinnamon Minx (whitewlf@tiac.net)
    We're going to do it outside, in traditional Scottish attire (kilts and all! Whoopee! Love the legs, honey!) and we're planning to have Celtic music and some Scottish food. We don't have all the details worked out yet, but once we decided how to go, it started to evolve from there.
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  • From: Goosie@502.ima.infomail.com (Goosie)
    We might opt for an outdoor civil ceremony with a celtic style reception (music, food, entertainment...I'd love to have some bardic performers). During the vows, we could have our friend (and most likely our best man) bind our hands with a white ribbon explaining the tradition to our guests.
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  • From: amypamy@aol.com (Amypamy)
    We held our ceremony outside. Our minister was incredible; she had a voice that carried, and announced to all: "Hear Ye, Hear Ye! The Wedding Ceremony is about to begin!" We wanted our guests to be participants, not spectators, so we had the officiant gather them in a circle around an arch in front of which we were to stand. Mark walked in first, with his two attendants walking side by side ahead of him. Then my attendants walked in, also side by side, then my father and me until we reached his chair, at which point we kissed, and I left him there to walk towards Mark on my own. Mark held a sword in his hand, and as I approached, we held the sword together, and planted it in the ground. That was our "altar". The officiant said a greeting, which gave meaning to the circle (enclosing the spirit, etc.). She then poured a libation as offering to those who couldn't be with us (i.e., my mother has passed away). We then had two of the attendants come up and pass a cloth about our clasped hands - we grabbed each other's right with our right, etc., so the symbol formed was that of "infinity". The cloth was just a white cloth with a stylized Celtic knot sewn on. We stood that way while the officiant read our consents, we repeated said vows, read some things, etc. Our hands were unbound by the other attendants, and then we did a ring exchange. After the ring exchange, we had the pronouncement, and we walked out together while his best man grabbed the sword. Altogether, I'd say the ceremony itself lasted about 15 minutes.
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  • From: mitchell@coyote.csusm.edu (Laura Mitchell)
    We wrote our own vows and included a lot of symbolism about the 'circle of life', an important aspect to us. See our ceremony at: http://www.csusm.edu/public/guests/mitchell/ceremony.html.
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  • From: "'Jherek' W. Swanger" (jswanger@u.washington.edu)
    I believe that part of the Orthodox Wedding Rite involves the ceremonial binding of the couple's hands together.
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  • From: morganv@io.com (Morgan ap Rhys)
    Here are the vows from a handfasting as written by a friend of mine. I personally find it one of the nicest I've seen. This is followed by the exchange of rings, or the tieing of the hands, or whatever you have decided to use as the symbol of your joining. Use this as you see fit and enjoy.

    BRIDE:
    I am woman, cherish me.
    I give life to all things.
    It is I who bring bounty,
    From the green things in the fields
    To the wild creatures in the forest.
    I am light and laughter,
    I am Brigid, mother of All.

    GROOM:
    I am man, respect me.
    I bring death to all things.
    It is I who am the reaper,
    I am the Lord of the Hunt
    And lord of the fields.
    I lead the dead to the Summerland,
    I am Herne, father of All.

    BOTH TOGETHER:
    Love and honor us.
    Together we are life and death,
    Darkness and light,
    Joy and sorrow,
    Order and chaos.
    We are summer and winter,
    Spring and fall.
    We are growth and decay,
    Youth and age,
    Night and day,
    Female and male.
    Wherever one of us walks,
    The other will be not far behind.
    This is the way of things.
    -------------------------
  • From: mayhem@buffnet.net (Mothermay)
    These vows are not traditional; they're only a couple a years old. My husband and I wrote them:
    "(Insert name), you have embraced all aspects of my nature. You love me completely, for both my strengths and my weaknesses. You have given me the courage and faith to trust you, to let you love me as an entire person. You have allowed me to embrace all aspects of your nature. You have let me love you completely, for both your strengths and your weaknesses. You have shown courage and faith in me, to trust me to love you as an entire person. I, (name), take you, (another name), just as you are, and however you may change, above all others, to share my life."
    -------------------------
  • From: jsnead@netcom.com (John R. Snead)
    Here is the text of our handfasting ceremony:

    John: Tonight we return to each other the tokens
    of our time apart. (This refers to the fact that before we were married, we were living in different states. The 'tokens' are necklaces we gave each other.)
    Becca: For tonight we pledge our love, and start our life together. (John places Becca's token around her neck, Becca places John's token around his neck)
    John: With this knife, I promise to stand beside you through all the challenges of this life, to support you, and defend you whenever you need me.
    Becca: I accept your promise. (John kisses blade, puts it on, and rises. Becca kneels and holds her knife)
    Becca: With this knife, I promise to stand beside you through all the challenges of this life, to support you, and defend you whenever you need me.
    John: I accept your promise. (Becca kisses blade, puts it on, and rises. John takes up his cup and kneels)
    John: With this cup, I promise to accept the love you pour upon me, and to return that love in kind. (Becca takes pitcher and fills cup)
    Becca: Drink, then, of my love. (John drinks, places cup on table, and rises, Becca takes up her cup and kneels)
    Becca: With this cup, I promise to accept the love you pour upon me, and to return that love in kind. (John takes pitcher and fills cup)
    John: Drink, then, of my love. (Becca drinks, places cup on table, and stands. John pricks his finger [we used sterile blood-test stylets available at most pharmacies], bleeds a drop on the fire)
    John: With this blood I ask the gods to bless this union. (Takes cup from table and bleeds a drop into it) With this blood I bind my life to yours. (John holds cup up, Becca places her hands over his)
    Becca: I drink of our life together. (Becca drinks, John places cup on table and stands. Becca pricks her finger and bleeds a drop on the fire) With this blood I ask the gods to bless this union. (Takes cup from table and bleeds a drop into it) With this blood I bind my life to yours. (Becca holds cup up, John places his hands over hers)
    John: I drink of our life together. (John drinks, Becca returns cup to the table and stands)

    Vows before the gods

    (The Priest and Priestess turn toward the others, the Priestess to the right of the Priest. They join hands, raising their arms aloft at the same time) Priest: May the place of this rite be consecrated before the gods. For we gather here in a ritual of love with the two who would be wedded. John and Becca come forward to stand before us and before the Gods. (The Priest picks up the wand (with the rings on it, one on each end) and holds one end of it before him in his right hand, the Priestess likewise holds the other in with her left hand, the rings on the exposed wand between them) Place your right hands beside each other, over this wand, and your rings.

    Priestess: Above you are the stars below you the stone. As time does pass remember... like a star should you be constant. Like a stone should your love be firm. Be close, yet not too close. Possess one another, yet be understanding. Have patience each with the other the other for storms will come, but they will go quickly. Be free in giving of affection and warmth. Make love often, and be sensuous to one another. Have no fear, and let not the ways or words of strangers give you unease. For the Goddess and the God are with you. Now and always.

    (After a pause of five heartbeats) Priest: Is it your wish Becca to join your life with this man?
    Becca: It is.
    Priest: Is it your wish John to join your life with this woman?
    John: It is
    Priest: Then as the Goddess, the God, and the Old Ones are witness to this rite, I hereby announce to all here that you are husband and wife.

================================================================
1.7: My best friend is planning a medieval peasant's wedding and I am in charge of locating appropriate wedding vows. Are there any websites that have samples of medieval vows or could someone please recommend some books?

  • From: 3lds2@qlink.queensu.ca (Sorensen Lise D)
    I had lunch with our medievalist yesterday, and have I got good news for you! There are two books -- in paperback, yet -- which will supply all your needs regarding medieval vows and weddings. The first book is _Women's Lives in Medieval Europe_, edited by Emilie Amt. I recommend this book highly as general reading. It is informative, and well-written. It is also useful as a guide to medieval marriage ceremonies and customs. The second books is _Nuptial Blessing_ (1982) by Kenneth Stevenson [Oxford University Press, New York]. In it are contained the various forms of wedding vows and blessings of the Middle Ages with all their regional and temporal variations. BTW, included in this book is the blessing for the marriage bed. You see, very often a couple wasn't married at the church, but a priest would come by the family home (after the couple was ceremonially acknowledged as wedded by their families) and bless the bed and wedding chamber in the presence of both families and the newly-wedded bride and groom. The priest and relatives would leave the room (to continue partying in the rest of the house, or nearby), and leave the couple to consummate their relationship in the newly "sacralized" bed.
    -------------------------
  • From: "'Jherek' W. Swanger" (jswanger@u.washington.edu)
    Another good source is "Documents of the Marriage Liturgy" by Searle, Mark, and Kenneth W Stevenson. Collegeville, Minn.: Liturgical P, 1992. This is THE book to read for copies of the vows themselves. Includes Jewish ceremony and a number of Christian liturgies from the Early Middle Ages to the present)
    -------------------------
  • From: byrdie@serv.net (Renee Ann Byrd)
    A 1993 wedding I attended had a bit of medieval flavor to it. According to the program, the wedding service was taken from the 1549 "Book of Common Prayer."
    -------------------------
  • From: fishcat@hooked.net (Trystan L. Bass)
    For an authentic Renaissance ceremony, point your Web browser at http://fermi.clas.virginia.edu/~gl8f/rialto/rialto.html, then go to wedding. This is part of the archives of rec.org.sca, and the weddings-e-art file begins with two ceremony scripts drawn from the 16th century "English Book of Common Prayer". Actually, the format has not changed much (only the language), so the modern book would be appropriate also. For Renaissance readings, anything in the King James Version of the Bible is perfect. The language is pure high Renaissance. On this same rialto site, there is another large wedding file with lots of archived letters discussing the subject of period weddings. Finally, for some romantic wedding poetry, look into: Shakespeare's Sonnet 18 (Shall I compare thee to a summer's day), Sonnet 116 (Let me not to a marriage of true minds admit impediment), _Romeo and Juliet_, act 2, scene 2 (But soft! What light through yonder window breaks), and Christopher Marlowe's "Passionate Shepherd to His Love" (Come live with me and be my love and we shall all the pleasures prove).
    -------------------------
  • From: J. L. Spangler (JLS5@psuvm.psu.edu)
    Jennifer pulls her trusty Riverside Shakespeare from the shelf. Here's Sonnet 29:
    When in disgrace with Fortune and men's eyes
    I all alone beweep my outcast state,
    And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
    And look upon myself and curse my fate,
    Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
    Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,
    Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
    With what I most enjoy contented least;
    Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
    Haply I think on thee, and then my state
    (Like to the lark at break of day arising
    From sullen earth) sing hymns at heaven's gate,
    For thy sweet love rememb'red such wealth brings,
    That then I scorn to change my state with kings.
    -------------------------
  • From: Kirsti Thomas (kst@paul.spu.edu)
    My husband Jherek and I wrote our own vows. They are posted at http://paul.spu.edu/~kst/bib/vows.txt. Be aware that the ceremony isn't historically accurate. Some of the phrasings (e.g. bonny and boxum at bed and at board) and rituals are taken from period sources, but we also made up some of it ourselves.
    -------------------------
  • From: J. L. Spangler (JLS5@psuvm.psu.edu)
    i've always loved this quote--we may put it in our programs.
    Doubt thou the stars are fire;
    Doubt that the sun doth move;
    Doubt truth to be a liar;
    But never doubt I love.
    (from Hamlet)
    -------------------------
  • From: locksley@indirect.com (Joe Bethancourt)
    The Form of Matrimony in the European Middle Ages
    As reconstructed by W. J. Bethancourt III,
    (NOTE: This is not intended to be represented as a true medieval marriage rite, but rather a reconstruction (with such alterations and interpolations as to make it acceptable in modern usages) from available references for use within the SCA, nor is it represented as a "official" rite of any Church, nor as an official ceremony of the SCA Inc. The sources used were the Book of Common Prayer of HRM Elizabeth I of England, extracts from the Sarum Rite and the York Rite, and various other lesser sources).

    At the day and time appointed for solemnization of Matrimony, the persons to be married shall come into the porch of the Church with their friends and neighbors; and there standing together, the Man on the right hand, and the woman on the left, with that person who shall give the Woman betwixt them, the Priest shall say,

    Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honourable estate, instituted of God in Paradise, and into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. Therefore if any man can shew any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace.

    And also, speaking unto the persons that shall be married, he shall say: I require and charge you both, as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgement when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together in Matrimony, that ye confess it. For ye be well assured, that so many as be coupled together otherwise than God's Word doth allow are not joined together by God; neither is their Matrimony lawful. At which day of Marriage, if any man do alledge and declare any impediment, why they may not be coupled together in Matrimony, by God's Law, or the Laws of the Realm; and will be bound, and sufficient sureties with him, to the parties; or else put in a Caution (to the full value of such charges as the persons to be married do thereby sustain) to prove his allegation; then the solemnization must be deferred, until such time as the truth be tried.

    If no impediment be alleged, then shall the Priest say unto the Man: N., Wilt thou have this Woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?

    The Man shall answer: I will.

    Then shall the Priest say to the Woman: N., Wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?

    The Woman shall answer: I will.

    Thus ends the formal betrothal. They shall then advance unto the Altar, led by the Minister, who shall then turn to the assembled company, and say: Who giveth this Woman to be married to this Man?

    And the person who gives the Woman shall answer, and shall place the Woman's right hand in the hand of the Minister, and then shall retire. Then shall they give their troth to each other in this manner: The Minister, receiving the Woman at her father's or friend's hands, shall cause the Man with his right hand to take the Woman by her right hand, and to say after him as followeth: I, N., take thee N to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, for fairer or fouler, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us depart, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereunto I plight thee my troth.

    Then shall they loose their hands; and the Woman, with her right hand taking the Man by his right hand, shall likewise say after the Minister: I N. take thee N to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to be bonny and buxom at bed and at board, to love and to cherish, till death us depart, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereunto I plight thee my troth.

    Then shall they again loose their hands; and the Man shall give unto the Woman a Ring, laying the same upon the Book with the accustomed duty to the Priest and Clerk. And the Priest shall bless the Ring(s) in the following manner: Bless these Rings, O merciful Lord, that those who wear them, that give and receive them, may be ever faithful to one another, remain in your peace, and live and grow old together in your love, under their own vine and fig tree, and seeing their children's children. Amen.

    And the Priest, taking the Ring, shall deliver it to the Man, to put it on the fourth finger of the Woman's left hand. And the Man holding the ring there, and taught by the Priest, shall say: With this Ring I thee wed, (here placing it upon her thumb) and with my body I thee honor, (here placing it upon her index finger) and with all my worldly goods I thee endow; (here placing it upon her ring finger) In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

    If it be a double-ring ceremony, let the Woman do the same as the Man, giving him the ring, and repeating the same words as he. They both shall kneel down; and the Minister shall say: Let us pray. O Eternal God, Creator and Preserver of all mankind, Giver of all spiritual grace, the Author of everlasting life; Send thy blessing upon these thy servants, this man and this woman, whom we bless in thy Name; + that, as Isaac and Rebecca lived faithfully together, so these persons may surely perform and keep the vow and covenant betwixt them made, whereof this Ring given and received is a token and pledge, and may ever hereafter remain in perfect love and peace together, and live according to thy laws; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

    And here shall be said the "Our Father." Then shall the Priest join their right hands together, and say: Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder.

    Then shall the Minister speak unto the people: Forasmuch as N and N have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth each to the other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving of a Ring, and by joining of hands; I pronounce therefore that they be Man and Wife together, in the Name of the Father, + and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen

    And the Minister shall add this blessing: God the Father, + God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord mercifully with his favour look upon you; and so fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace, that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. Amen.

    And here the Minister shall turn the couple to the Company, and they may kiss each the other, and then proceed from the Altar. And if it be the wish of the couple to take Communion, they may do it privately, following these ceremonies.

    Here endeth the Medieval Wedding
    -------------------------
  • From: chaos@blend.ugcs.caltech.edu (Tien-Yee Chiu)
    According to Barbara Walker in _The Woman's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets_, the original Anglican marriage service for the wife went like this: "I take thee to my wedded husband, to have and to hold, for fairer or fouler, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness or health, ***to be bonny and buxom in bed*** and at board, till death us depart [sic]." (A curious clerical note made in the margin at a later date explained that "bonny and buxom" really meant "meek and obedient". Somehow I don't think so.) (She attributes this information to W. Carew Hazlitt, _Faiths and Folklores of the British Isles_, p. 447, in case anyone cares to check up on it.)
    -------------------------
  • From: rain@teleport.com (Rain)
    There is an entire page of Handfasting information on the WWWeb, URL: http://www.pacificnet.net/~jkdyson/aw/handfast.html. It's not everything you'll want, but it's a fair place to start.
    -------------------------
  • From: BJ Kuehl (bj@csd.uwm.edu)
    Kirsti Thomas has compiled the following bibliography of books on the topic of medieval wedding customs. This bibliography is also housed at: http://paul.spu.edu/~kst/bib/bib.html.

****************************************************************
1.8: Bibliography of Medieval & Renaissance Marriage Practices compiled by Kirsti Thomas

A (Rough) Bibliography of

Medieval and Renaissance Marriage Practices

(with some Celtic stuff thrown in for good measure)


Compiled by Kirsti Thomas
kst@paul.spu.edu
******************************************************************************
This bibliography focuses on marriage customs in Western Europe, dealing primarily with England, France, Germany and Italy. I have not included works on the topic of costume (with one exception), since an extensive FAQ on historical costuming is frequently posted to rec.org.sca. The FAQ is also available via FTP at rtfm.mit.edu:
/pub/usenet/news.answers/crafts/historical-costuming
/pub/usenet/news.answers/crafts/textiles/books/part1
/pub/usenet/news.answers/crafts/textiles/books/part2
Several of the works are in languages other than English. Since my comprehension of Italian and French is minimal at best, I cannot guarantee the usefulness of works in those languages. I am also in the process of reviewing the works cited here and will be revising this bibliography as time allows.
******************************************************************************

  • Adams, Jeremy duQuesnay. Patterns of Medieval Society. Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice-Hall, 1969.
  • Altieri, Marco Antonio. Li nuptiali. Rome, C. Bartoli, 1873. Ed. Enrico Narducci. (If you can read Italian, this seems to be one of the best primary sources on Italian Renaissance wedding rituals. Originally written around 1509, it was reprinted in 1873 and does not seem to have appeared in print since.)
  • Bingham, Joel Foote. The Christian Marriage Ceremony: Its History, Significance and Curiosities: Ritual, Practical and Archaeological Notes; and the Text of the English, Roman, Greek and Jewish Ceremonies. New York: A. D. F. Randolph & Company, 1871.
  • Bolton, Brenda, et al., eds. Women in Medieval Society. Philadelphia: U of Pennsylvania P, 1976.
  • Brooke, Christopher Nugent Lawrence. The Medieval Idea of Marriage. Oxford: Oxford UP, 1989. (Historical study of how marriage was viewed, legally, ecclesiastically and socially, and how it evolved)
  • Brundage, James A. Sex, Law and Marriage in the Middle Ages. Aldershot, England: Variorum, 1993.
  • Brucker, Gene A. Giovanni and Lusanna: Love and Marriage in Renaissance Florence. London: Weidenfeld & Nicolson, 1986.
  • Centro italiano di studi sull'alto Medioevo. Il Matrimonio Nella Societa Altomedievale: 22-28 aprile 1976. Settimane di studio del Centro italiano di studi sull'alto Medioevo 24. Spoleto : Presso la sede del Centro, 1977.
  • Charsley, Simon R. Wedding Cakes and Cultural History. London: Routledge, 1992.
  • Cunnington, Phillis Emily, and Catherine Lucas. Costume for Births, Marriages & Deaths. New York: Barnes & Noble, 1972. (Brief discussions of clothing and customs from roughly the 11th to the late 19th centuries, focusing primarily on England. Contains many direct quotes from period sources)
  • Duby, Georges. Love and Marriage in the Middle Ages. Trans. Jane Dunnett. Chicago: U of Chicago P, 1994.
  • Duby, Georges. Medieval Marriage: Two Models from Twelfth-century France. Trans. Elborg Forster. Johns Hopkins Symposia in Comparative History 11. Baltimore: Johns Hopkins UP, 1978.
  • Duby, Georges. The Knight, the Lady, and the Priest: the Making of Modern Marriage in Medieval France. Trans. Barbara Bray. 1st American ed. New York: Pantheon Books, 1983.
  • Ennen, Edith. The Medieval Woman. Trans. Edmund Jephcott. Oxford: Basil Blackwell, 1989.
  • Famiglietti R. C. Tales of the Marriage Bed from Medieval France (1300-1500). 1st ed. Providence, RI: Picardy P, 1992.
  • Fischer, Andreas. Engagement, Wedding and Marriage in Old English. Anglistische Forschungen 176. Heidelberg: Winter, 1986.
  • Gaudemet, Jean, Le Mariage en Occident: les Moeurs et le Droit . Paris: Editions du Cerf, 1987.
  • Gerstfeldt, Olga von. Hochzeitsfeste der Renaissance in Italien. Esslingen: P. Neff, 1906.
  • Gies, Frances, and Joseph Gies. Marriage and the Family in the Middle Ages. 1st ed. New York: Harper & Row, 1987.
  • Goldberg, P. J. P. Women, Work, and Life Cycle in a Medieval Economy: Women in York and Yorkshire c. 1300-1520. Oxford: Clarendon P; New York: Oxford UP, 1992.
  • Greilsammer, Myriam. L'envers du Tableau: Mariage & Maternite en Flandre Medievale. Paris: A. Colin, 1990.
  • Haines, Frank, and Elizabeth Haines. Foreign Brides From Antiquity. Cumberland, Md.: Hobby House P, 1989. (The Haines present general examples of brides from various points in history (1600, B.C. - A.D. 1720) Costumed dolls model the fashions in color photos. Also includes detailed descriptions of costume, with line drawings of each item of clothing and brief descriptions of wedding customs.)
  • Herlihy, David. The Social History of Italy and Western Europe, 700-1500. London: Variorum, 1978.
  • Holliday, Carl. Wedding Customs Then and Now. Boston: Stratford, 1919.
  • James, Edwin Oliver. Marriage Customs Through the Ages. New York: Collier, 1965.
  • Klapisch-Zuber, Christiane., Women, Family and Ritual in Renaissance Italy. Chicago: U of Chicago P, 1985.
  • Lafon, Jacques. Les Epoux Bordelais: 1450-1550, Regimes Matrimoniaux et Mutations Sociales. Demographie et Societes 16. Paris, S.E.V.P.E.N., 1972.
  • Laiou, Angeliki E., ed. Consent and Coercion to Sex and Marriage in Ancient and Medieval Societies. Washington, D.C.: Dumbarton Oaks Research Library and Collection, 1993.
  • Lasker, Joe. Merry Ever After: the Story of Two Medieval Weddings. 1st ed. New York: Viking P, 1976. (children's book with nice color illustrations)
  • Molho, Anthony. Marriage Alliance in Late Medieval Florence. Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard UP, 1994.
  • Molin, Jean-Baptiste, and Protais Mutembe. Le Rituel du Mariage en France du XIIe au XVIe Siecle . Theologie Historique 26. Paris: Beauchesne, 1974. (One of the most frequently quoted works on the topic)
  • Powell, Chilton Latham. English Domestic Relations, 1487-1653: a Study of Matrimony and Family Life in Theory and Practice as Revealed by the Literature, Law, and History of the Period. New York: Columbia UP, 1917.
  • Rollin, Betty. I Thee Wed: a Collection of Marriage Vows Past and Present, Here and There. 1st ed. Garden City, N.Y.: Doubleday, 1961.
  • Roqueta, Joan. Lo Ritual Occitan del Maridatge: Testimoni d'una Civilisacion Originala: Edicion Sinoptica e Critica de Tres Rituals amb Formularis en Lenga Occitana (Bordeu 1466, Caors 1503, Perigus 1536), Seguida d'una Analisi de Textes Occitans Medievals e d'una Prepausicion de Ritual Moderne del Maridatge en Lenga d'Oc. Besiers: Centre Internacional de Documentacion Occitana, 1981.
  • Salamallah, the Corpulent. Medieval Games. 2nd ed. Albuquerque, N.M.: Raymond's Quiet P, 1982. (Games and sports you can try at the reception!)
  • Salisbury, Joyce E. Medieval Sexuality: a Research Guide. Garland Reference Library of Social Science 565. Garland Medieval Bibliographies 5. New York: Garland, 1990.
  • Saslow, James M. The Medici Wedding of 1589: Florentine Festival as Theatrum Mundi. New Haven: Yale UP, 1996. (projected date of publication: 5-96)
  • Schott, Clausdieter. Trauung und Jawort: Wandel einer Form. Frankfurt: Metzner, 1969.
  • Schwerdtfeger, Anne. Ethnological Sources of the Christian Marriage Ceremony. Stockholm: Ceres, 1982.
  • Searle, Mark, and Kenneth W. Stevenson. Documents of the Marriage Liturgy. Collegeville, Minn.: Liturgical P, 1992. (_The_ book to read for copies of the vows themselves. Includes a Jewish ceremony and a number of Christian liturgies from the Early Middle Ages to the present)
  • Stevenson, Kenneth W. Nuptial Blessing: a Study of Christian Marriage Rites. New York: Oxford UP, 1983. (Chapter 2 is a good source for various rituals and ceremonies, while Chapter 3 deals with marriage customs during the Reformation)
  • Stone, Lawrence. The Family, Sex and Marriage in England, 1500-1800. New York: Harper & Row, 1977.
  • Tasman, Alice Lea Mast. Wedding Album: Customs and Lore Through the Ages. New York: Walker, 1982.
  • Tegg, William. The Knot Tied: Marriage Ceremonies of All Nations. Detroit: Singing Tree P, 1970.
  • Urlin, Ethel L. A Short History of Marriage, Marriage Rites, Customs and Folklore in Many Countries and All Ages. Detroit: Singing Tree P, 1969.
  • Van Hoecke, Willy, and Andries Welkenhuysen. Love and Marriage in the Twelfth Century. Mediaevalia Lovaniensia, ser. 1, studia 8. Leuven: Leuven UP, 1981.
  • Vocelka, Karl. Habsburgische Hochzeiten 1550-1600: kulturgeschichtlichen Studien zum manieristischen Reprasentationsfest. Veroffentlichungen der Kommission fur Neuere Geschichte Osterreichs 65. Wien: Bohlau, 1976.
  • Waugh, Scott L. The Lordship of England: Royal Wardships and Marriages in English Society and Politics, 1217-1327. Princeton, N.J.: Princeton UP, 1988.
  • Westermarck, Edward. The History of Human Marriage. 5th ed. New York: Allerton Book Company, 1922.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Charsley, Simon R. Rites of Marrying: the Wedding Industry in Scotland. Manchester: Manchester UP, 1991.
Martin James. The Road to the Aisle. New ed. Edinburgh: Saint Andrew, 1987. (Scottish weddings)
McGuire Kim. The Irish Wedding Book . Dublin: Wolfhound P, 1994.
Power, Patrick C. Sex and Marriage in Ancient Ireland. Dublin: Mercier, 1976.

****************************************************************

Section 2: Questions regarding Invitations and Announcements


2.1: We're using a medieval theme for our wedding. How can we adapt that look for our invitations?

  • From: fishcat@hooked.net (Trystan L. Bass)
    Printing the invitations on a heavy parchment and using a type style that imitates calligraphy will announce to everyone that your wedding has a Medieval or Renaissance theme. Decorative motifs that would work with the theme include simple flowers, fancy scrolls, heraldic symbols, and metallic embossing. Touches of rich, jewel-tone colors are very period, especially combined with gold or silver -- think of Medieval illuminated texts. For a small wedding, you could have a professional write each invitation in calligraphy, but this will be expensive (unless you know someone who'd do it as a wedding gift).
    -------------------------
  • From: ladyjane@cyberverse.com (Lanfear)
    For our invitations, I found a nice parchment stock at a local printer supply company and then took a period border from a clip art book. A local printer set up the text in a calligraphy style and printed them. Then by hand I colored the gold and ivy border. Each invitation was folded in thirds and tied with a satin ribbon. Cost was about $100.
    -------------------------
  • From: smyrniw@bnr.ca (Nadia Smyrniw)
    We have been going through many Celtic art books to find a design (or a compilation of designs) for the outside cover of the invitations. My fiance will then make a print of whatever he finally draws, and then we will scan that into the computer and print the invitations at home by ourselves on a laser printer.
    -------------------------
  • From: mitchell@owl.csusm.edu (Laura Mitchell)
    I am using a gold Celtic Braid around the border with the symbol of the 3 goddesses at the top. We are printing them via our computer on parchment, folding them 1/3, sealing with wax and mailing it inside an envelope with rsvp card and map.
    -------------------------
  • From: magda@gramercy.ios.com (magda)
    For my wedding invitations I used a Mac and used different design elements from clip art "Illuminated Borders" books. I'm getting them printed digitally in 4-color with the rsvp's and a business card for $400. Digitally is the way to go for short run inexpensive printing.
    -------------------------
  • From: ereiswig@cycor.ca (eric reiswig)
    There's a nice 'how-to' for drawing knotwork at http://www.en.com/users/ivan/knotwork.html
    -------------------------
  • From: BJ (bj@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu)
    We designed our invitations and announcements on my fiance's MacIntosh using a combination of medieval fonts (my favorite is the one that looks like ivy leaves). Our invitations were printed on ragged-edged, prefolded, parchment stationary with matching double-envelopes (available by special order at graphics stores). Our announcements were printed on unfolded 8x11 inch parchment (available by the tablet at art supply stores). Those announcements which we could hand-deliver were rolled into a scroll and sealed with wax. Those which had to be mailed were folded in thirds, wax sealed, and then mailed inside an envelope.
    -------------------------
  • From: Jason_L@pop.com (Jason L)
    One motif that ran throughout our wedding was the ancient Earth symbol of the Greenman. Our invitations were printed in dark green ink and featured the face of the Greenman.
    -------------------------
  • From: "Rottier_Amy" (Rottier#u#Amy@mnb2.fss-moses.lockheed.com)
    I browsed through pattern books and looked at inked stamps until I found a picture of a lord and lady dancing that I really liked. Using that for inspiration, we drew our design and scanned it into the computer. Using cardstock parchment, we laid out the dancers two to a page and the invitation wording two to a page (so it could be printed two-sided and cut in the middle). I'm dry-embossing the outer edge of the invitation (around the dancers) to add a little dimension. Then Mark designed a map to the location, in stylized fashion, complete with knight and dragon pictures. There is a mountainous area called "The Bad Lands of DC", and plenty of trees and even a picket fence around the "castle". It's really a work of art (drawn in Wordperfect 6.0). On the back are written directions. We also made a reply postcard with our address on one side and a Celtic knot (under which I will handwrite the names of the invitees) and "Yea I will gladly attend the betrothal of Lady Amy Elizabeth Rottier of San Diego to Sir Mark David Donovan of Cleveland"/"Nay, I regret..." on the other side. Both the map/directions and knot/postcard are on quarters of an 8.5x11 sheet. It really came out well. Including paper, rubber stamp, sample inks and embossing powders, embossing templates (for the dry embossing - I bought 2), printing and cutting costs (courtesy Kinkos), I probably paid less than $50.
    -------------------------
  • From: aspsys@slip.net (Arthur S. Pruyn)
    One renaissance wedding that took place at RPFN about 6 years ago had invites that were a sonnet. The sonnet described the location, the date, the two getting married, the feast, and other aspects of the wedding in period terms. They were sent out with an additional little map (as is often done in current weddings) with directions for those who had not been to the faire. I had the pleasure of writing the sonnet for them (it was in Shakespearian form, rather than traditional).
    -------------------------
  • From: joanne@joanne.central.sun.com (Joanne Frezzo)
    I'm not having a Medieval wedding, but several people have told me my invitation looks like it was themed. It is not a wedding invitation per se. I found it at a local stationer who works out of her home. She had this in a notebook at a bridal faire. It is an ivory card with a colored border. I chose a plum color. Overlaying the color is a gold embossing of a flourish design all around the border. It's very hard for me to describe. If you want me to try to fax or snail mail you a copy I'd be glad to. One thing though, since it was not designed as a wedding invite it doesn't come with inner envelopes, but I was able to find one that was very close through Paper Direct.
    -------------------------
  • From: Kristiina Prauda (prauda@cc.helsinki.fi)
    We made rather elaborate invitations with a medieval-style border, initials and script. The medieval-style border was taken from an illustrator's idea book, simplified for coloring with a drawing program (it included ivy leaves, long straight borders and a dragon - which made it more Tolkien-ish than medieval). We took a few of those big initials (for my name, his name and the name of the church) from an actual 13th c. manuscript. We colored all the borders and the initials by hand, using cheap felt pens in red, blue and gold - all the outer borders were "gilded" from the drawn motif to the edge. In the upper right-hand corner, we put in a verse from a poem by Finland's greatest classical poet, Eino Leino; the poem is in "Kalevala"-metre, the old epic metre of our folk poetry. It talks about life together, something like this (apologies for my bad attempts to follow the original flawless beat):
    "Truly it was they lived together
    under the tree with widest top,
    truly they made a fire together,
    slipped together into bed,
    together it was they slept and dreamed
    of their eternal selves,
    on their brows a dream of happiness,
    on their lips the kiss of morning."
    The actual wording of the invitation was completely traditional (since the ceremony was a traditional church ceremony). For font, we used "American Uncial", which is rounded, sort of Celtic-looking. The invitations were printed on ordinary white paper, then glued that on a slightly larger sheet of 100% silk rag paper - really beautiful pearl color, with silk fibers clearly showing. We folded them in three and sealed them with red wax, making a wax seal out of a rose-shaped metal button glued to a small plastic stick. Hard work (for about 70 invitations), but they were a huge hit, and many friends put them up for show.
    -------------------------
  • From: Sally Jackson (serifm@fastlane.net)
    Any competent scribe can letter your invitation in a style appropriate to the time period and the country of your choice. (Writing and decoration in 14th century France was totally unlike that of 16th century England, etc.) Almost any calligrapher will have a library of clip art that can be used to decorate the invitation and many will be able to design the decorative elements. As to printing, a quick print business can print from the calligrapher's original work. It is simply photographed, and each invitation looks like it was hand lettered.
    -------------------------
  • From: Susan Carroll-Clark (sclark@epas.utoronto.ca)
    The original of our invitation was calligraphed in Secretary hand by a friend--it was the Shakespearian sonnet which talks about the "marriage of true minds".

================================================================
2.2: Anybody have any creative ideas for wording an invitation in keeping with the medieval style of the wedding?

  • From: "Rottier_Amy" (Rottier#u#Amy@mnb2.fss-moses.lockheed.com)

    Lady Amy Elizabeth Rottier
    and
    Sir Mark David Donovan
    request the honour of thy presence
    at their marriage
    on Saturday, the thirtieth of September in
    the year of our Lord Nineteen hundred and ninety five
    --------------------fold------------------------------
    The ceremony will begin at two o'clock in the after-noon
    at
    The Griffin's Lair (his mother's name is Griffin)
    xxxx Olivers Shop Road
    Fried chicken, Maryland

    Feasting and merriment will follow the ceremony
    Medieval/Renaissance-style garb recommended
    but not required
    -------------------------
  • From: guettier@moretcri.ensmp.fr (Christophe GUETTIER)

    De par le Baron..., Pere de...
    De par le Conte..., Mere de...
    Par la presente missive,
    Nous avons l'honneur de celebrer en vostre gent presence et cel
    de ces vassaux...,
    le mariage de Dame..., Fille de..., Heritiere de...,
    Regente de..., Dote de...
    et
    Sieur..., Fils de..., Chevalier de..., Heritiers de...,
    Regent de..., dans le fief de...
    Seront donnes moult rejouissance et festoiement.

    Translation from old French:
    In the name of the baron..., father of...
    In the name of the countess..., mother of...
    With this present lettre,
    We have the honour of celebrating in thy kind [or noble]
    presence and that of these servants [or vassals or household],
    the marriage of Lady..., Daughter of..., Heiress of...,
    Governess of..., Dowered of...
    and
    Sir... Son of..., Knight of..., Hier of...,
    Governor of..., in the fief [land or shire] of...
    Let there be much rejoicing and feasting.
    -------------------------
  • From: Phyllis_Gilmore@rand.org (Phyllis Gilmore)
    The phrase "de par le roi" means "in the name of the king," so one presumes the phrasing to suggest the hand of a scribe (nice idea, I think) doing the writing.
    -------------------------
  • From: BJ (bj@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu)

    HEAR YE! HEAR YE!

    The honour of thy presence
    is hereby requested
    at the marriage of
    Barbara Jean Wedemayer
    and
    Timothy Duane Kuehl
    on Saturday the eleventh of June
    in a mediaeval wedding ceremony
    at half-past the seventh hour
    in the eventide

    In keeping with the medieval theme of our wedding invitations, we also worded our announcements:

    H E A R Y E H E A R Y E

    Let it be known that on the 11th day of June
    in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and ninety-four
    the house of Wedemayer pledged its firstborn daughter
    Barbara Jean
    to the house of Kuehl in marriage to the firstborn son
    Timothy Duane
    at
    (name of church)
    Milwaukee, Wisconsin
    **
    Mr. & Mrs. Kuehl now reside
    at
    (our address)
    City, State
    Zip

================================================================
2.3: I'm thinking of rolling up my invitation (but how would you mail that cheaply!). Any suggestions??!!

  • From: kyrstyn@icecastle.com
    You can buy tubes in which to mail them.
    -------------------------
  • From: BJ (bj@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu)
    If you really want to go gala, have your invitations delivered by a friend dressed as a herald!

================================================================
2.4: We bought metallic gold wax and two stamps to seal our invitations but can't for the life of us figure out how to use them! Any hints/suggestions out there would be greatly appreciated!

  • From: bj@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu (Barbara Jean Kuehl)
    We used wax seals on our invitations, and I had the same question. Luckily, we happened to be watching a movie with a medieval setting and saw the method used by the king to seal a document. He held the stick of sealing wax over a candle flame until it began to melt, then quickly positioned the stick over the envelope and let the melting wax drip onto the desired spot. Once he had enough wax, he picked up the stamp and pushed it down on the soft wax. We tried doing it that way and, after a few trial runs, determined about how long to hold the stick in the candle flame, about how much wax we would need for a good seal, and about how hard the wax had to be in order to get a legible seal. After that, it was a breeze.
    -------------------------
  • From: fishcat@hooked.net (Trystan L. Bass)
    Aside from lighting the wax directly (which will produce some blackened wax), you can use the old-fashioned spoon method. Crumble pieces of wax into an old spoon. Warm the underside of the spoon over a candle. When the wax is melted, carefully pour it onto the envelope. Stamp with the seal. This, as with all wax sealing methods, takes some practice on scrap paper. Victorian Papers sells a fancy wax sealing set that includes a tiny spoon with a spout just for this purpose. The spoon is $7.95, the wax beads (easier to melt in spoon) are $8.95 per box.
    -------------------------
  • From: Sally Jackson (serifm@fastlane.net)
    After putting the puddle of hot melted wax on the envelope, if you will breathe on the seal (which leaves it a bit damp from the moisture in your breath) it will not stick to the hot wax.
    -------------------------
  • From: bj@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu (Barbara Jean Kuehl)
    This is a quote from an instruction sheet entitled "Making Wax Seals" and provided by The Swordmark Company out of Atlanta, GA, a vendor of stationery supplies and waxseals.

    "In the old days, they used to lick the seal or dip it in water before each use--the thin coating of water would keep the hot wax from sticking to the metal. We suggest you lightly spray the metal seal with a non-stick lubricant (e.g., WD40, Pam cooking spray, silicone) to ensure that the wax won't stick.

    "Light the wax, tilt the stick at an angle, and let the wax drip into a puddle big enough for your seal. Blow out the wax stick, and place the metal seal firmly in the way while it is still liquid. Wait 5 seconds to allow the wax to harden before pulling the seal from the wax.

    "To cleanup, wipe the metal seal with a paper towel. If any wax is stuck to the metal, use a pin to poke it out, and next time lubricate that spot more carefully."

================================================================
2.5: My fiance and I will be making our own invitations and would like to use a wax seal on the outside of the envelope. I was wondering if anyone ran into problems with the post office, like wax getting stuck in postal machines or anything like that?

  • From: Sally Jackson (serifm@fastlane.net)
    The post office really doesn't like it - it messes up their machines. However, I don't believe there is any actual prohibition against using it.
    -------------------------
  • From: BJ (bj@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu
    We didn't place the seal on the outside envelope. Rather, we folded the announcement in thirds (leaving an overlapping lip) and then sealed the lip. We mailed the announcement in an envelope and sent it as a regular letter. At the same time, I mailed a sealed announcement to myself (to see how the wax would withstand the postal department). The seal arrived slightly cracked. If you use wax seals, you might want to have the envelopes hand-cancelled or use a cardboard envelope. Another possibility is to forgo the wax and just use one of those red or gold stickers that look like a real seal.
    -------------------------
  • From: mitchell@owl.csusm.edu (Laura Mitchell)
    I've been experimenting and have found something that may help people who are having problems mailing the wax seals. White glue. White glue thinned with a little bit of water is flexible but apparently strong enough to keep the seal together if it does crack and, best of all, it's clear when applied with a paint brush (and the brush can be washed in water to clean).
    -------------------------
  • From: musasurv@aol.com (Jonathon Elsburough)
    I always wrap the envelope in a nice, gaudy gold or silver ribbon then poor wax over a spot on the ribbon and then press the seal into the wax, sealing both ribbon and paper. I also put the invitations inside a standard envelope which has the recipient's name lettered quite plainly. This allows a really fancy lettering of the recipient's name on the inside envelope, and people like nothing in calligraphy as much as their name.

================================================================
2.6: How about thank you cards? Any ideas for how we can make our thank you cards look medieval in style?

  • From: Kristiina Prauda (prauda@cc.helsinki.fi)
    In Finland,we do not write thank-you letters; we send thank-you cards with a photograph. Our thank-you cards consisted of printed paper, outer card backing, and a photo of us at the altar. The card was made of rather thick stock with a grey-white marble motif (or cloud, maybe). The inner paper is something called "Paris paper" - nicely uneven, but we were warned later that it would not hold ink too well. The right-hand side of the opened card has the photo in an oval rimmed in gold. The left-hand side is folded in two. On top we put a motif of two dragons holding a crowned heart (this was modified from the invitation dragon), a line of Kahlil Gibran, and "With thanks" in larger letters, with a medieval initial; we signed under that. We colored the dragons and the inital by hand again. When opened, the double-width left-hand side displays a choice of texts we wanted to include in a wedding program, but time ran out: some more Kahlil Gibran, some Shakespeare (Much Ado About Nothing, Benedick and Beatrice having words), and Aragorn's and Arwen's wedding from Lord of the Rings. We used the same font as in our invitations.
    -------------------------
  • From: BJ (bj@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu)
    We used the same ragged-edged, prefolded, stationary parchment for our thank you cards that we used for our invitations. Using medieval-looking fonts, we simply inkjet printed 'Thank Thee' on the outside of the card. My favorite font was the initial T in both 'Thank' and "Thee'--it looked like ivy vines. We handwrote the message on the inside.
    ****************************************************************
    Section 3: Questions regarding Attire

    3.1: Those who were married in a medieval-style ceremony, what did your wedding party and guests wear?

    • From: ladyjane@cyberverse.com (Lanfear)
      My dress was upper-middle class, Spanish style in forest green with mint green trim and pearls. My husband wore garb from the same green but his was trimmed in gold.
      -------------------------
    • From: michelle.campbell@stonebow.otago.ac.nz (Miche)
      The bride wore a Renaissance style cartridge-pleated, side-laced dress of purple, lilac and black satin. The groom wore Tudor style gears like you see in the pictures of Henry VIII, including codpiece. The guests all wore their favourite garb. The bride lent me a dress - Renaissance style back-laced dress with plunging v-neck, in blue and silver, with a line of tiny bells round the waist line.
      -------------------------
    • From: Susan Carroll-Clark (sclark@epas.utoronto.ca)
      My husband and I wore ivory and gold Elizabethan garb (not so much because these were wedding colours, but because they were popular Elizabethan colours). Another wedding I attended had the male and female attendants in red and blue cotehardies, while the bride and groom wore houppelandes.
      -------------------------
    • From: byrdie@serv.net (Renee Ann Byrd)
      In a 1993 wedding I attended, the bride's attendants wore angel dresses -- basically these were long tunics with tied around the waist with a rope-like belt.
      -------------------------
    • From: bj@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu
      In a trendy dresshop, I found a white, gauzy, A-line floor length dress with a white-embroidered bodice. I dyed it green because medieval brides did not normally wear white. I did, however, wear it with a white lace shawl and a wreath of fresh ivy for a tiara. I carried a bouquet of green ivy and white sweetpea which I tied together with trailing white and green ribbons. My bridesmaids wore long, green, crushed velvet dresses and carried candles. The groom dressed as a medieval huntsman in green velvet britches, knee-length leather mocassins, white shirt and leather jerkhin. The groomsmen dressed similarly (except they did not wear jerkhins). I made their britches but they obtained everything else from Museum Replicas Ltd.
      -------------------------
    • From: ojid.wbst845@xerox.com (Orilee Ireland-Delfs)
      The bride wore a cream brocade dress (a bit of fantasy here - it was modeled after one in the Princess Bride) with her hair uncovered. Her bridesmaids each wore a dress in a jewel tone to match their own persona: one was in a deep red tudor, another in emerald green cotehardie. She also made matching outfits for her parents and his parents (the fathers discovered how much fun tights can be - we complimented them on their legs quite regularly!) Guests were encouraged to wear garb (although the SCA guests wore garb as a matter of course). The groom, being Irish, wore a saffron yellow tunic with embroidery and went barefoot most of the day.
      -------------------------
    • From: Jason_L@pop.com (Jason L)
      One of my cousins decided to do a Ren wedding on Twelfth Night the same year we did ours. When I finally saw the pictures I was quite disappointed in the quality of her "production". Not only did she wear a white dress, the bridesmaids all wore the same color and kind of dress. Both TOTALLY inappropriate for the period. They were also more of an Arthurian fantasy style and not authentic to the period. However the groom did get to wear a full suit of armour! (Way cool!)
      -------------------------
    • From: Patricia D. Mooney
      About half the guests dressed in costume, including the parents and several newborns! Although I had a regular, off-shoulder wedding dress (ordered before we got this bright idea!) and wreath, Alan wore tunic, tights, and sword. The sword became quite a prop for pictures -- my favorite photo is of all costumed guests surrounding me as I knighted Alan. After we'd chosen our garb, we ran across the most beautiful medieval wedding costumes in a shop -- but it was too late and the wrong season. (The costumes were appropriate for winter, not August.)
      -------------------------
    • From: "John A. Resotko" (Resotko@ahdlms.cvm.msu.edu)
      I already have a good portion of my clothing (leggings, knee-high hand-tooled moccassins from Bald Mountain Mocs, etc.) since we frequent RenFests in the Michigan/Illinois/Ohio area. I'll probably buy an exceptional quality shirt and a brocaded jacket/vest to dress my usual garb up for the occasion.
      -------------------------
    • From: platypus@glue.umd.edu (Amy E. Rottier)
      My dress was made by a bridal shop that makes dresses in Takoma Park, MD. I found the perfect material after many weeks of intensive searching - an ivory brocade with gold strewn through it. The fabric was $25 a yard. I wanted the majority of the dress made with this fabric, and the rest in an ivory antiqued satin. The way it ended up: dropped waist gown with full skirt, slim long sleeves, pointed. Low neckline. Plain shoulders. The brocade fabric was used everywhere except the sleeves and a front placket that ran from neck to hem. I had a gold cord criss-crossed across the front of the bodice and tied at the dropped waist. Everyone said I sparkled in the sun. I felt so beautiful in that dress. My then-fiance decided he wanted to wear a cloak and tights, so tights they wore. We had the cloak made (reversible, in black and burgundy, with glorious trim), found burgundy leggings in a clothing store, he made a belt, and dyed his moccasin boots. He wore a tunic of an ivory color, with a stand-up collar. He also wore leather bracelets (the manly kind!). He was stunning. Anyway, it turned out that Mark's outfit cost as much as mine. How's that for equality! My bridesmaids wore a version of a dirndl pattern - a floor-length skirt (in burgundy) with bodice-vested top (in mauve). The pattern also included a shirt, but we made the sleeves from a muslin-type cotton (off-white and speckly) and just attached them to the vest. The guys wore a version of Mark's outfit - black cloak (not as ornate, and not reversible), black shirts with burgundy belts, burgundy tights, and black ankle-high moccasin boots.
      -------------------------
    • From: june@netcom.com (June Petersen)
      I suppose my dress was more like "fantasy Ren", two layers of beige gauze skirt with lace, and a beige gauzy top with a lace-up center (upon which were sewn pearls and brilliants). I've always been a fiend for lace, so there was lots of it, including a 5 foot lace "train" veil (carried by my "page"). We bought the basic dress stuff (skirts, top) and embellished the hell out of it. It had detachable sleaves of lace, very big and trailing at the bottom. He wore breeches and boots, a loose cotton shirt and a big cloak. Our parents were also dressed in Renaissance mode, as were my Mom's folks. A lot of the guests came in Ren or pseudo-Ren, which made it a lot of fun!
      -------------------------
    • From: Guinevere1@aol.com
      My fiance and I will be wearing traditional wedding clothes (since he couldn't manage to talk his ushers into wering period clothing!) My dress is ivory, with a V-neck neckline and brocade detailing on the bodice, with matching detail an inch above the hemline. My fiance bought me the necklace I will be wearing. It is a Medieval cross (purchased through Past Times), even on all four sides (rather than a traditional cross, which is longer at the bottom) with a garnet in the center. The four "ends" are in the shape of Fleur de Lys, with a pearl on three of them. It was believed back then that this type of medallion was good luck. The ushers will be wearing tuxedoes but not with the traditional bowtie and cumberbund. Instead, it's the type of tuxedo with an ascot (wide tie) and vest. Danny (the groom) will wear tails, and the ushers will wear shorter jackets. The girls will be wearing emerald green velvet dresses.
      -------------------------
    • From: Jason_L@pop.com (Jason L)
      The hardest thing to do was getting enough GOOD costumes for everyone. It is much easier to do if you do peasant or lower middle class dress, but we did a noble wedding which is harder to pull off. We used our costume colors in a dramatic way. Andrea's family and attendants were dressed in yellows & browns, while my side was predominately in blues & grays. We were both dressed in green. Andrea had gold trim, myself with blue. Even though it was slightly 'theatrical' it represented a symbolic merging of the families -- Andrea's family in Earth tones, my own family in the colors of water and sky, and us in green, the color of new growth and renewal. It turned out that the hardest thing with the costumes was convincing both mothers that they REALLY had to wear them. Both fathers said "It sounds like fun!".

    ================================================================
    3.2: Any ideas on how I can encourage my guests to dress in period clothing, too?

    • From: peterscc@whitman.edu (Chris Petersen)
      I attended my first SCA event last summer - as a guest at a friend's wedding. With each invitation, she included a small SCA-published pamphlet that talked about how to quickly, cheaply and easily make period dress for just such an event. Many people chose to follow this and some even wore towels clipped together to form tabbards. Others chose simply to come in mundane clothing.
      -------------------------
    • From: Jason_L@pop.com (Jason L)
      We encouraged our guests to come in period attire, but did not make it mandatory. I included a brouchure that I had bought at the Southern (California) Faire about assembling an outfit that would give a period look using clothing that most people might already have or could get easily. We also included info about where people could rent or purchase costumes in the area. About half of our guests at least made an attempt to come in period attire, the rest mostly wore traditional modern dress clothing. At least they came, so I didn't mind that they were in modern clothing. Also try to get a caterer, photograher and minister who will dress in period clothing, and be prepared to get the clothing for them. We interviewed a few before we found some that would be willing to 'dress up' for our wedding.
      -------------------------
    • From: Jason_L@pop.com (Jason L)
      Try to get a minister who will dress in period clothing and be prepared to get the clothing for them. We interviewed a few before we found some that would be willing to 'dress up' for our wedding.
      -------------------------
    • From: ladyjane@cyberverse.com (Lanfear)
      The gentleman that did our wedding was a personal friend but is on a referal list the Faire keeps of ordained clergy that will do weddings in period garb, style, etc.
      -------------------------
    • From: hamilton@adi.com
      Some friends of mine had a Renaissance-style wedding a couple of years ago. The reception was themed as a masked ball (so the family and friends could wear any costume they wanted). The wearing of masks was prevalent throughout the 15th and 16th centuries, especially during the Carnival season. The film "Much Ado About Nothing" (the Branagh version) has a very nice masked party. The Liz Taylor-Richard Burton version of Taming of the Shrew has a Carnival procession wandering through Padua. And of course, there's Zefirelli's Romeo and Juliet, where R&J meet at a masked party.
      -------------------------
    • From: ????????????
      For those guests who cannot come up with a suitable costume I am making 'slip on' costumes -- tunics over pants for men, dresses for women.

    ================================================================
    3.3: HELP! My fiance wants a medieval-style wedding but I don't know the first thing about that time period, much less about the clothes they wore.

    • From: fishcat@hooked.net (Trystan L. Bass)
      Go to the library and take a look at some historical costume books and pick out a time frame that suits you. Here are some basic categories to help you decide:
      • 1. Royalty (the most formal and fanciest clothes from the era)
      • 2. Merchant class (good but not showy, modestly prosperous)
      • 3. Peasant (casual, carefree, outdoorsy, little decoration)
        • A. Medieval (women in long, slim-fitting gowns; men in tights and tunics)
        • B. Renaissance (women in tight bodices and full skirts; men in tights, breeches, pirate shirts, laced vests)
      If you want your whole bridal party in period garb, think about what styles everyone will be comfortable in. Renaissance peasants and Medieval clothing will probably be easiest to wear for those not accustomed to heavy, confining, or unusual clothing. These are also the easiest styles to create!
      -------------------------
    • From: Anne Reynolds (apr@hpesapr.fc.hp.com)
      For any given century, there was usually one or two "cultural centers of the world." Everyone else tried to imitate that culture. For example, the British Isles spent most of the 11th-13th century trying to imitate France. In the late 14th-15th centuries, Italy was the place to imitate. In the 16th and 17th centuries, Spain and then England were considered cultural centers. The cotehardie was *the* fashion for women in the 12th - 13th centuries. The best examples of the style are in french books of hours. Most of those books also show women in houppelandes which was the second most popular fashion from the 12th - mid 14th century. The houppelande is a much "bulkier", gathered dress that is also very lovely. The main style of clothing for most of the middle ages (popular from Roman times through the 12th century) is the T-tunic. It is very simple to make but has millions of variations and can be elaborately decorated. You can decorate the sleeves, the hem, the collar, the front, etc. It can be as long or as short as you please, the sides can flare out instead of being cut straight down, and the side seams can be left open below the hips for greater range of movement. The T-tunic was worn by both men and women and it is cut like:

        -------------------\     /--------------------
      |...................-----....................|
      |.._________......................_________..|
      |./ |......................| \.|
      |/ |......................| \|
      / |......................| \
      |......................|
      |......................|
      |......................|
      |......................|
      |......................|
      |......................|
      |......................|
      |......................|
      |......................|
      |......................|
      |......................|
      |......................|
      |......................|
      |......................|
      ------------------------

    ================================================================
    3.4: My wife is desperately in need of a source of patterns for medieval/Renaissance wedding clothing for the bride, groom, and all of the wedding party. Where can we get such patterns?

    • From: bj@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu (Barbara Jean Kuehl)
      There are a number of different pattern companies that specialize in historically-accurate period clothing. Four that I have heard of (and there may be others) are Folkwear Patterns, Period Patterns (by Medieval Miscellanea), Past Patterns and Fantasy Patterns.
      -------------------------
    • From: ???????????
      Folkwear Patterns is a large, popular company that makes patterns inspired by folk costume, ethnic clothing, and historical fashions. The patterns are historically accurate, and include historical/ethnic/folkloric notes & ideas for embellishment. Many of the ethnic clothing patterns work for Med/Ren styles, esp. peasant clothes. The historical fashions are mostly 19th & 20th century. Medieval Miscellanea is one of the few makers of specifically Med/Ren clothing patterns. They have a lot of historical annotation, but can be hard to follow. Past Patterns makes 19th & early 20th century patterns, historically accurate, often with historical info on the patterns.
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    • From: susan-o@metronet.com (Susan A. Ondrick)
      I have Period Patterns No. 56, Late Tudor and Elizabethan Gowns. Historical notes are included with the patterns.
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    • From: bj@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu (Barbara Jean Kuehl)
      Period Patterns, Fantasy Fashion Patterns and Folkwear Patterns are also available through Chivalry Sports (see catalog list), although their selection is very limited. Period Patterns are available through MacKenzie-Smith.
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    • From: liversen@physiology.medsch.ucla.edu (Lori Iversen) Both Folkwear and Medieval Miscellanea brands are available through the Raiments catalog as well as Amazon Vinegar Pickling Works and Drygoods Emporium [see catalog list], along with lots of other pattern brands and costuming sundries. I would recommend getting catalogs from both places instead of just asking for a particular pattern brand; that will give you a much larger base to work from.
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    • From: connect@aol.com (CONNECT)
      Fantasy Fashion patterns are in the Raiments catalog.
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      From amberly@magellan.cloudnet.com
      I have ordered Folkwear patterns and have been very pleased with them. I have seen Folkwear patterns carried in specialty pattern shops, but they carry a very limited selection.
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    • From: jjones@atlas.ontos.com (JJ)
      Try Folkwear Patterns. They have various enthnic patterns as well as historical ones. Not all fabric stores carry them. I'd recommend sitting down with the yellow pages, looking up "Fabrics" and calling every fabric store listed. Talk to the managers if you have to - if they don't carry Folkwear they might know of places that do. I've made several of the Folkwear patterns. Many of them are DIFFICULT (and I'm a *very* experienced seamstress). Many of them are constructed in ways that are close to the originals, which means odd pieces and attachments. They also tend to have several sizes in the same envelope. Proper body measurements are a must, and you need an experienced seamstress to do it. By the way, some of the patterns are absolutely gorgeous - so they're worth the effort. But not for the fainthearted!
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    • From: fishcat@hooked.net (Trystan L. Bass)
      If historical accuracy matters, I *highly* recommend buying the Raiments catalog of historical patterns. There are some very easy to use patterns for men's & women's medieval and Renaissance garments, plus they sell readymade corsets & hoops (for noblewomen's costumes). If you aren't too concerned with history, look through the pattern books at your local fabric store. The Halloween sections have many simple Robin Hood style outfits, plus there are a few Christopher Columbus patterns still out there. You can also modify modern patterns by extending hemlines, adding fullness to sleeves, cutting pants into breeches, and making vests lace up instead of button. The books _Elizabethan Costuming_ and _After a Fashion_ both have great tips on modifying modern patterns to create historical costumes.
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    • From: fishcat@hooked.net (Trystan L. Bass)
      COSTUME REFERENCES
      • Winter, Janet and Carolyn Savoy. _Elizabethan Costuming for the Years 1550-1580_ 1987. Other Times Productions, 386 Alcatraz Ave., Oakland, CA 94618. Available from the publisher and from Raiments (see catalog list). Includes pattern diagrams, detailed instructions, and lots of helpful drawings. Perfect for beginners.
      • Grimble, Frances. _After a Fashion: How to Reproduce, Restore, and Wear Vintage Styles_ 1993. Lavolta Press, 20 Meadowbrook Dr., San Francisco, CA 94132. Available from the publisher and from Raiments (see catalog list). Very useful overview of historical styles, including Medieval and Renaissance. Tons of wonderful sewing, pattern modifying, and clothes re-modeling tips.
      • Holkeboer, Kathleen. _Patterns for Theatrical Costume_ Available in bookstores and from Raiments. Scale-able grid diagrams of patterns for historical costume from Ancient Egypt through 20th century (men and women). The Medieval and Renaissance patterns are attractive and give options for several different styles.
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    • From: kithatton@aol.com
      I highly recommend picking up a copy of "Elizabethan Costuming". It is by far the best practical book for Elizabethan costuming of all classes. It includes info on dress, hair styles, and head coverings.
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    • From: Victoria (address unknown)
      The best place to get authentic patterns for the 16th Century is from a book by Janet Arnold - ["Patterns of Fashion", published in 1985 by Macmillan London Limited]. What she does is take REAL clothing from the period, carefully studies it and makes actual patterns from the original garments. In the book there are a series of pattern drawings from her research. Of course, these are to scale, and you'd have to get your own pattern paper (or butcher's paper) to redraw the patterns - but it includes a number of mens and womens' and children's outfits - plus it has photographs of the actual pieces - including some close-ups of the insides...amazing detail information that will make any costumer drool.
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    • From: fishcat@hooked.net (Trystan L. Bass)
      The only way to get really period garb is to sew it yourself, of course. If you're going for a very early period &/or for peasant classes, the clothes are pretty easy to make & you could round up everyone you know & have sewing parties. When doing period events with non-costumer folk, it's always a good idea to make it as easy & comfortable for them as possible. You might not want to stress historical accuracy if you're dealing with people who rarely wear anything but jeans and sneakers!

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    3.5: I can't sew on a button. Where can I buy medieval clothing?

    • From: fishcat@hooked.net (Trystan L. Bass)
      Look in regular clothing stores for things with a Medieval or Renaissance flair. Women look for: long velvet gowns with fitted bodices, long sleeves, and full skirts; velvet or tapestry vests (especially those that lace up the front), peasant blouses, ruffled blouses, long skirts. Men look for: full pirate-style shirts, velvet tunics, velvet or tapestry or leather vests, baggy trousers, boots. For simple peasant outfits, go to thrift and second-hand stores for gauzy peasant blouses, pirate shirts, long cotton skirts, and leather boots and belts.
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    • From: apr@fc.hp.com (Anne Reynolds)
      For about the past eight years, I've KNOWN what I wanted my wedding dress to be like. If you look in french books of hours, you see it all over the place - it's sort of an A-line dress except much more fitted in the chest/rib cage area, scoop neckline, fitted sleeves, huge skirt and train. Then, while flipping through some bridal magazines, I saw this one bridesmaid's dress, and I just kept coming back to it. So finally I said to myself, "if you don't go try on that dress, you'll never be happy with any other dress, not even your dream dress." So I went to a store and tried it on - just that one and no other. I just about cried at how pretty I FELT when I put it on. Especially when the saleslady pulled out *the perfect veil* to wear with it. It was THE DRESS after all. As an added plus, since it was labelled as a bridesmaid's dress, it was cheap compared to most wedding gowns. I paid about $400 for the dress and veil which was less than I had planned to spend making my original dream dress.
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    • From: fishcat@hooked.net (Trystan L. Bass)
      Check out local costume rental shops -- this way bridal party members & guests don't have to pay for whole outfits they'll never wear again. Also, take a look through thrift shops for accessories like belts, cups, jewelry, etc. BTW, a decent costume shop will be as "approximately period" as any of the readymade supposedly period clothes I've ever seen for sale!) Some stores will even sell you the costumes, if you want to keep them or make alterations. One warning -- do not expect to be able to do this in October. Costume shops are swamped in October (for Halloween), so prices go up and selection goes down.
      -------------------------
    • From: Tina Schutte (spires@one.net (Lee Spires)
      I think I may have found a gown! There's a costume shop here that supplies our local theater groups...They have something that, although it's too big, they may be able to make me a copy in the colors and fabrics I choose. Now I've got to pick fabrics, check costs, and pray it can be done in the time I've got!!
      -------------------------
    • From: fishcat@hooked.net (Trystan L. Bass)
      Ask everyone you know if they have anything in their closets. People who do living history sometimes get tired of their costumes and sell them. Place a small ad in the local costumer's guild, Renaissance guild, and SCA newsletters. Ask around on rec.sca.org and alt.renaissance.faires, too (these are also good places to search for a costumer/seamstress).
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    • From: ladyjane@cyberverse.com (Lanfear)
      I contacted my local SCA chapter and arranged to have our wedding outfits made by someone into costuming. We made sure they were done period so that we could use them for later Faires and events. She went to the fabric distrinct in downtown LA and found an elegant wool imported from England at only $5 a yard. The total cost on our outfits was $350.
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    • From: aam0709@is.nyu.edu (Aliesha A. Murray)
      For the costumes, we're getting a costumer who's also involved with local Renaissance festivals. Groomsmens outfits will be about $65 to rent, bridesmaids about $100, groom about $100 (his costume is more elaborate). The people we're working with are actually willing to make the clothes to our specifications, then rent them to us. This way they get to keep the clothes and rent them out to other people later. You may be able to get a costumer to do this, too, especially if they do weddings a lot. These people are also willing to make my dress, and they said that if they can't do it then they know people from the Ren Faire who can. If you have a Ren. Faire in your area I definitely recommend going there, if only just to get some ideas. By the way, we're sticking with tunics for the men and princess-seamed dresses for the women. That way the men don't have to wear tights, and princess dresses look good on almost any body type. We're going with capes, too. They look really dramatic.
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    • From: Jason_L@pop.com (Jason L)
      One of my best friends is a costumer who happens to specialize in renaissance costumes. He agreed to do our outfits as well as clothe the rest of the wedding party and our parents. He worked with us to design our clothing and incorporate our ideas. After several discussions and much research, he did some renderings to show what the final product would look like. We then went shopping for fabrics and trims, and then he went to WORK. The final version exceeded our expectations! They were simply marvelous! Without his support and well-stocked closet, I don't think we could have done it. All told, he provided 22 costumes -- the ones he made for us (which we kept) and 20 others that he either pulled from or made for his stock.
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    • From: fishcat@hooked.net (Trystan L. Bass)
      Check with local theatrical companies and college theater departments to see if they've done any Shakespearean plays recently and want to sell their costumes. This is a long shot, but it doesn't hurt to ask. Also check to see if they have particular times when everything in the wardrobe's up for sale (some places do this once a year as a fund-raiser).

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    3.6: Does anybody know of a catalog which offers readymade but affordable period clothes? I can't possibly sew for everyone!

    • From: bj@alpha1.csd.uw.edu
      There are a number of mailorder companies that carry readymade period clothing. Some will even rent clothing. See the list of catalogs in this faqsheet.

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    3.7: Does anyone know of good Web sites regarding medieval clothing?

    • From: markh@risc.sps.mot.com (Mark.S Harris)
      You might check the CLOTHING section of my SCA Rialto files at: http://fermi.clas.virginia.edu/~gl8f/rialto/rialto.html. The file patterns-msg details a number of modern patterns that can be modified to medieval style clothing. I believe there is another file that lists the names and addresses of various merchants selling medieval patterns. There are various other files on making gloves, headgear, shoes, undergarments and other clothing apparel as well as files on Scottish and Irish clothing and other clothing files.
      ________________________
    • From: bj@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu
      There is another website that I know of which offers costuming information: http://www.bibiana.com/velvet/peasant.html contains directions for making Renaissance peasant clothing. Two other sources of information about period clothing is the Historical Costuming FAQ at http://reality.sgi.com/employees/lara/lara.html and the Historic Costume Mailing List (see following message).
      ________________________
    • From: close@lunch.engr.sgi.com (Diane Barlow Close)
      The Historic Costume Mailing List focuses on the re-creation of period costume, from the Bronze age to the mid-20th Century. We discuss accurate historical reproduction of clothing, historical techniques for garment construction, and the application of those techniques in modern clothing design. Other topics frequently discussed include adapting historical clothing for the modern figure, clothing evolution, theatrical costumes, patterns, materials, books, and sources for supplies. We have over 600 members, of varying levels of ability, education and interest. Members include re-creationists and reenactors of all eras, historians, museum personnel, students and professors of both theatre and history, and other academics, authors, directors, dancers, professional costumers, wearable artists, sewers interested in learning "lost" techniques, and some who are simply "fans" of history. This is a list that brings together many different types of people, all sharing information and hanging out and having fun.
      To join the list, send a message to:
      majordomo@lunch.engr.sgi.com
      In that message, say one of the following as the body of the message:
      subscribe h-costume
      end
      or
      subscribe h-costume-digest
      end
      The first will put you on the list to receive approx. 5-20 messages per day. The second will put you on the list to receive one digest approximately every 1-5 days of the past week's mailings.

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    3.8: My fiance has informed me that he hates tuxes and would prefer to get married in a robe rather like the ones worn by Sir Thomas More in A Man for All Seasons. Anyone have a clue where I would find such a beast?

    • From: Mistress Aidan Morgana Evans
      I believe that the garment for which you search is called in period a "loose gown". Patterns for several may be found in "Patterns of Fashion, vol III" by Janet Arnold. The scaled patterns may look complicated but this was the first garment which my lord husband patterned and made for himself. Your lord will look splendid, but don't skimp on the fabric.

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    3.9: Does anyone know where I could get a velvet cape? I am thinking about an evening wedding and an off the shoulder gown, and I get cold easily (Plus I just love them!!).

    • From: fishcat@hooked.net (Trystan L. Bass)
      Capes are probably the world's easiest thing to sew -- a beginner can do it, even in velvet (if you're patient). Many pattern companies have simple cape patters with variations like collars, hoods, etc. Look in the "coats" and "evening wear" sections of pattern companies. Depending on your gown, you might want a full-length cape or a fingertip length one or even a short elbow length cape. It can be simple and unadorned or you can edge it with fur, maribou, lace, ribbon, cording, metallic braid, etc. This is *such* an easy project! Don't waste a lot of time searching for one readymade in stores -- just go to the fabric store. And if you don't sew, ask around. Grandmothers, older aunts, and even mothers are often of a generation that knew how to sew. It could be a lovely wedding present too.
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    Section 4: Questions regarding Flowers, Bouquets and Headpieces

    4.1: What flowers can I use in my bouquet to go along with the medieval theme of my clothing?

    • From: Guinevere1@aol.com:
      In a book entitled "Period Flowers", the chapters called "Medieval Flowers" and "Renaissance" talk about the flowers most popular during those times.
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    • From: margritt@mindspring.com (Margritte)
      There is a book called "Theme Gardens" that you might want to check out. It has plans for several gardens--including a medieval paradise garden, a Shakepeare garden, and others. It's a wonderful place to look for lists of appropriate flowers.
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    • From: cd055@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Jennifer Gebhardt)
      Our wedding has a Celtic theme...and my bouquet will have white roses, wine roses, thistle, and heather.
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    • From: bj@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu
      I carried a bouquet of green ivy, white sweetpeas, white roses, and white carnations which I tied together with trailing white and green ribbons.
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    • From: lise@balkis.cc.bellcore.com (339R0-romanov)
      Each could carry a single long-stemmed red rose trimmed with ribbons.
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    • From: platypus@glue.umd.edu (Amy E. Rottier)
      I had a cascading hand bouquet with lots of ivy trailing and many colorful flowers (I wanted garden-y type flowers, simple and homey). The girls had large hand-tied bouquets of the same flowers. My flower crown was BIG - but I'm a big girl, and they balanced me out. The florist made a spray for the arch, too, and it was incredible. Looked fantastic and drew the ceremony place together (a single big focus point just behind us, instead of distractions everywhere).
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    • From: Betsy Miller (elizabeth.miller@fmr.com)
      Here's an alternative I'm toying with (shamelessly pilfered from Martha Stewart): Each attendant carries a bouquet made from a single flower but using the same greenery & general shape of bouquet. The picture I saw had one bouquet made with irises, one with white roses, one with orange lilies, and one with a red flower (not roses, but I can't think of what it was). It looked really pretty, especially since all the bridesmaids had identical gowns.
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    • From: bozwin@aol.com (Bozwin)
      My attendants are each carrying a cluster of tulips tied with ribbon. Very reasonable price at that time of year (spring). Haven't decided yet if each will carry a different color, but maybe. With 4, you could do the colors like winter, spring, summer, fall.
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    • From: hlburges@ellis.uchicago.edu (Hillary Butterfly Burgess)
      Three ideas I've seen and loved: 1) A small round bouquet with cascading ivy and ribbon (ivy is cheap filler, but beautiful, ribbon you can get inexpensively at a craft/fabric store). 2) Long stem flowers. Tie them together with green craft wire, wrap about 4 inches of satin ribbon around the stems (toward the bottom) and attach a bow to the ribbon. (I like satin bows) Add ribbons and pearls to the hanging ribbons from the bow to make it more fancy/formal. 3) Baskets: We *might* have the flower girls carrying small baskets filled with petals and then have the BM carrying bigger baskets filled with flowers and hanging ivy. My mom has bought the baskets at yardsales and craft stores for between 25c and a buck. She will decorate them with satin material and ribbon, then we will give them to our florist who can make a flower arrangement for the BMs. The florist suggested we use the BM's arrangements as table centerpieces.
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    • From: khealey@world.std.com (Katie Healey)
      My fiance's name is ERIC, so my flowers were Edelweiss (a pain to find in October!!!), Roses, Ivy, and Carnations. I know, it sounds too cute for words, but I really liked it. For my bridesmaids, I had bouquets that were virtually the same, except for one type of flower. I found one kind of flower that means "friendship forever" (my best friend's bouquet); another kind of flower means "memories treasured" (for the bridesmaid who had been a friend since before we could walk); "new friendship" for my future SIL; etc. There are several good books on flowers that tell about the meanings of different flowers. It's kind of neat, once you get going. When I gave each bridesmaid her bouquet, I included a little card that explained the meaning of their special flower. We all cried baskets before we even left my house!
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    • From: Debbie McCoy bridea2z@gate.net
      Ancients used herbs, not flowers, in bouquets because they felt herbs--especially garlic--had the power to cast off evil spirits (can you imagine walking up the aisle holding a clump of garlic!?). If a bride carried sage (the herb of wisdom) she became wise; if she carried dill (the herb of lust) she became lusty. Later flowers replaced herbs and took on meanings all their own. Orange blossoms, for example, mean happiness and fertility. Ivy means fidelity; lillies mean purity.
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    • From: Jason_L@pop.com (Jason L)
      Our flower girl carried sheaves of wheat, a symbol of growth, fertility, and renewal.

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    4.2: Does anyone know (or can anyone point me to a resource for) the meanings of different flowers in a bouquet?

    • From: fishcat@hooked.net (Trystan L. Bass)
      The language of the flowers is ancient and many of the symbols have not changed. These examples come from Shakespeare:
      Red rose and myrtle = I love you
      Ivy with white and red flowers = marry me?
      Forget-me-nots = my true love is yours
      Pansies = you occupy my thoughts
      Violets = I am faithful and loyal
      Mint = great virtue
      Sage = great respect
      White and red roses = unity of purpose
      Pink roses = ours must be a secret love
      Marigolds = I am a jealous lover
      Lavender = I distrust you
      Basil = I hate you
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    • From: bj@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu (Barbara Jean Kuehl)
      If you are interested in creating a bouquet with a special meaning, the following website contains a list of flowers and their meanings: http://acm.vt.edu/~lfowler/wed/flowers.html.

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    4.3: I've found a wonderful company to make our "costumes", but I'm not sure what to wear for a "veil". I know veils are traditional nowadays, but our medieval wedding is anything but. Could I wear flowers in my hair instead of a veil?

    • From: Debbie McCoy (bridea2z@gate.net)
      It's not necessary to wear a veil. A veil is merely traditional and ceremonial (although in Judaism Conservative and Orthodox ceremonies, it's a requirement). Since your wedding sounds very much your own, the only thing that's important is that your headpiece (if you choose to wear one) look beautiful.
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    • From: ac298@seorf.ohiou.edu (Lisa Steinberg)
      The veils of today have only been used for the last hundred or so years so, by not wearing one, you aren't contradicting some ancient tradition. I like the look of flowers